Bullies! They are everywhere. And come in all sizes, color, shapes and gender. Sometimes they take the form of a parent, a teacher, a boss or co-worker, a relative (mother-in-laws seem to top the list here) a friend or most tragically - even a spouse or a lover.
While every bully is unique and has his/her own reason for being a bully, one thing is clear - they cause tremendous heart-ache and stress. And based on how you are as an individual, dealing with these bullies might be easy to stressful to outright damaging for you.
I, as a kid was fairly gentle and usually happy minding my own business. However it soon became pretty apparent to me that whether at home or school, there would be people who would want me to do things the way THEY wanted them to be. And sometimes it was baffling because the people bullying me would be people very near and dear to me.
As I grew older and developed my own personality, the bullies still remained a grey area. I could never really bring myself to stoop down to their level or stand up to them. Escapism seemed the easiest route! Whether it was in my own dreams, on my bicycle or in the car in the garage with music on, I soon started finding great succor in being on my own! However, one thing that also did happen was that I developed a deep and fierce dislike to being bullied. And no matter who you were, how much you loved or cared for me, if you had to come on my hit-list, you just had to bully me. Bullies became my red flags, bringing forth great anger and resistance from within.
The time when this deep anger first started becoming damaging for me was when I started getting involved in relationships. As any man knows well (I also do!) many (!) women can be HUGE bullies the moment things start getting serious. However, I was not someone who could be bullied easily. And usually at the first hint of such behavior, I would hit the parachute's button and disappear.
Corporate world was the other extreme battle-ground. It took years. Yes literally years for me to be able to handle bullies without losing my mind (and my job along with it!).
Today I seem to have evolved. Handling bullies is a little easier. I am much more tolerant of them. And tend not to take them too seriously now. So as PG Wodehouse would say - Jolly ho! Life's good and all!
What's the price I have had to pay over the years? Failure in relationships with women? Yes. Problems in corporate world? To some extent!
The worst price I have had to pay however has been in my personal friendships. While the anger against bullies has gone down, I still cannot get to like bullies. And if you are my friend who has bullied me somewhere down the line and suddenly found me absent from your life, you can well understand that somewhere you have pressed the wrong buttons. For if you bully me knowingly or unknowingly, I am ruthless about not wanting to be around you any more.
I know this is not a very healthy confession to make. The more psychologically advanced / judgmental among you must have judged and type - caste me by now (what a loser...you might be thinking). But believe me this has been a huge struggle of my life and it is only now that I seem to have gotten the better of it.
The worst thing of all though.......as they say....you become what you hate the most! Right? Gosh no!! Have I ended up becoming a bully too?? @#$%!!
While every bully is unique and has his/her own reason for being a bully, one thing is clear - they cause tremendous heart-ache and stress. And based on how you are as an individual, dealing with these bullies might be easy to stressful to outright damaging for you.
I, as a kid was fairly gentle and usually happy minding my own business. However it soon became pretty apparent to me that whether at home or school, there would be people who would want me to do things the way THEY wanted them to be. And sometimes it was baffling because the people bullying me would be people very near and dear to me.
As I grew older and developed my own personality, the bullies still remained a grey area. I could never really bring myself to stoop down to their level or stand up to them. Escapism seemed the easiest route! Whether it was in my own dreams, on my bicycle or in the car in the garage with music on, I soon started finding great succor in being on my own! However, one thing that also did happen was that I developed a deep and fierce dislike to being bullied. And no matter who you were, how much you loved or cared for me, if you had to come on my hit-list, you just had to bully me. Bullies became my red flags, bringing forth great anger and resistance from within.
The time when this deep anger first started becoming damaging for me was when I started getting involved in relationships. As any man knows well (I also do!) many (!) women can be HUGE bullies the moment things start getting serious. However, I was not someone who could be bullied easily. And usually at the first hint of such behavior, I would hit the parachute's button and disappear.
Corporate world was the other extreme battle-ground. It took years. Yes literally years for me to be able to handle bullies without losing my mind (and my job along with it!).
Today I seem to have evolved. Handling bullies is a little easier. I am much more tolerant of them. And tend not to take them too seriously now. So as PG Wodehouse would say - Jolly ho! Life's good and all!
What's the price I have had to pay over the years? Failure in relationships with women? Yes. Problems in corporate world? To some extent!
The worst price I have had to pay however has been in my personal friendships. While the anger against bullies has gone down, I still cannot get to like bullies. And if you are my friend who has bullied me somewhere down the line and suddenly found me absent from your life, you can well understand that somewhere you have pressed the wrong buttons. For if you bully me knowingly or unknowingly, I am ruthless about not wanting to be around you any more.
I know this is not a very healthy confession to make. The more psychologically advanced / judgmental among you must have judged and type - caste me by now (what a loser...you might be thinking). But believe me this has been a huge struggle of my life and it is only now that I seem to have gotten the better of it.
The worst thing of all though.......as they say....you become what you hate the most! Right? Gosh no!! Have I ended up becoming a bully too?? @#$%!!
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