Skip to main content

Bully me but At Your Own Risk!

Bullies! They are everywhere. And come in all sizes, color, shapes and gender. Sometimes they take the form of a parent, a teacher, a boss or co-worker, a relative (mother-in-laws seem to top the list here) a friend or most tragically - even a spouse or a lover. 

While every bully is unique and has his/her own reason for being a bully, one thing is clear - they cause tremendous heart-ache and stress. And based on how you are as an individual, dealing with these bullies might be easy to stressful to outright damaging for you. 

I, as a kid was fairly gentle and usually happy minding my own business. However it soon became pretty apparent to me that whether at home or school, there would be people who would want me to do things the way THEY wanted them to be. And sometimes it was baffling because the people bullying me would be people very near and dear to me. 

As I grew older and developed my own personality, the bullies still remained a grey area. I could never really bring myself to stoop down to their level or stand up to them. Escapism seemed the easiest route! Whether it was in my own dreams, on my bicycle or in the car in the garage with music on, I soon started finding great succor in being on my own! However, one thing that also did happen was that I developed a deep and fierce dislike to being bullied. And no matter who you were, how much you loved or cared for me, if you had to come on my hit-list, you just had to bully me. Bullies became my red flags, bringing forth great anger and resistance from within. 

The time when this deep anger first started becoming damaging for me was when I started getting involved in relationships. As any man knows well (I also do!) many (!) women can be HUGE bullies the moment things start getting serious. However, I was not someone who could be bullied easily. And usually at the first hint of such behavior, I would hit the parachute's button and disappear. 

Corporate world was the other extreme battle-ground. It took years. Yes literally years for me to be able to handle bullies without losing my mind (and my job along with it!). 

Today I seem to have evolved. Handling bullies is a little easier. I am much more tolerant of them. And tend not to take them too seriously now. So as PG Wodehouse would say - Jolly ho! Life's good and all!

What's the price I have had to pay over the years? Failure in relationships with women? Yes. Problems in corporate world? To some extent! 

The worst price I have had to pay however has been in my personal friendships. While the anger against bullies has gone down, I still cannot get to like bullies. And if you are my friend who has bullied me somewhere down the line and suddenly found me absent from your life, you can well understand that somewhere you have pressed the wrong buttons. For if you bully me knowingly or unknowingly, I am ruthless about not wanting to be around you any more. 

I know this is not a very healthy confession to make. The more psychologically advanced / judgmental among you must have judged and type - caste me by now (what a loser...you might be thinking). But believe me this has been a huge struggle of my life and it is only now that I seem to have gotten the better of it.

The worst thing of all though.......as they say....you become what you hate the most! Right? Gosh no!! Have I ended up becoming a bully too?? @#$%!!  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Stuck in a bubble?

While sitting in a workshop, a big realization dawned on me. All of us in our lives have to face every day realities. A number of these realities are a result of who we are as a person at a particular point of time. A colleague who is disliked in office for his aggressive nature might be the most loving of friends in everyday life. And even though this person might not want to be so aggressive in the workplace, his habits formed as as result of sub conscious impulses might hold him hostage leaving him helpless and frustrated. So how accountable are we really for our own behavior? Wise men say that discipline and mind control are the characteristics required to win over these challenges. Even then is it not purely a percentages game? Even the mightiest crumble in the face of some odds or the other. So ultimately should we not be more tolerant of ours as well as the negativities of others and instead of disliking them for these, try as far as possible to embrace them and work in the sp...

Love and friendship: The deeper aspects of life

Love - the one magic word that everyone seems to be manically seeking in their life. If you have grown up in India listening to Hindi film music, ghazals et. al. you would know that maximum songs crooned by our favorite singers are about romance and love. The love between a man and a woman which is exalted to a status which is almost divine like. Even if you are a fan of English music - the same trend is visible there. Even the greatest of rock-stars who usually like to delve into the deeper aspects of everyday life and its frustrations, have usually composed some intense love ballads which become extremely popular. Why has "romantic" love become such an all consuming aspect of life? And why is the traditional Indian society now facing serious challenges to its old ways of looking at things in this new global era? To get a perspective, one only has to look at the number of divorces our society is suddenly witnessing. Even tragic divorces in the lives of couples who braved a...

Hope!

A dark scary night Not a soul in sight I am lost in dusty bye-lanes Fear grips my heart Suddenly I see ahead A busy highway with gleaming lamps Hope emerges from my heart again Merciless sun is beating upon the land Dry arid land looks thirsty and bland Trees slowly wither Life hides wherever it can The wind suddenly turns into a gale Thunder and lightning herald the coming of rain Hope leaps up from my heart again Disrespect, negativity, ego Make me go insane Mistrust, misunderstandings, insecurities Fill my heart with pain An evolved life emerges Embraces me without the desire of any gain Hope dances forth from my heart again Life is such a struggle Some days it feels like a dark night On other days like a parched land Some days the heart cries unable to tolerate pain Leaving my self behind I retreat into another world I fight, I shout And berate my life for making me so frail Once the tempest is over I sit calmly and I seek To hear what life...