As I juggle my professional and personal life with a highly active invlovement in the Buddhist organisation, Bharat Soka Gakkai, there are some issues I get to observe in the youth of today. One of the main ones (which in all honesty I myself have been struggling with) is how to get clarity in CHOOSING the right life partner. Choosing here in CAPS since for the longest time, we followed the simple arranged marriage system. With youth of our generation though, arranged marriage (even in its new hybrid avtaar) just seems to add to the confusion.
There are so many instances of people I come accross who are involved with somebody in their lives but things dont seem to work. General confusion. And the million dollar question: "Is this person right for me?"
And so this latest muse: how does one know if a person is right for him or her?
Come to think of it, there was a time when the world was a very small place. One's exposure to people outside of one's family was restricted to a few relatives. If one was growing up in a village, how many women of marriagable able would be there if you were trying to get married. So maybe that is where community events came in: fairs and marriages which gave a man and a woman an opportunity to find someone they liked (ofcourse after filtering things like caste, religion, social standing etc.). And even then if there was no one, there was always the family pundit who would indulge in match making.
Point I am trying to make, was there that much thought going behind whether this person is right for me or not? Why not? Were these not humans like us who had their likes and dislikes?
Look at the other contrast. Today we grow up in co - ed schools, colleges (I did!), have co - ed work places, large cities where we live with all means of coming together of men and women (not to speak of the omnipresent and all pervasive internet) and yet there is confusion?
Is the confusion because we are applying our intellect to something which is essentially not in our hands? Is marriage just the coming together of two people or does it have something more to it? Why does the heart come into the picture and if it does, then how does one reconcile with the pulls of the heart and the mind? And finally, is there some spirituality involved in marriage that we are unable to understand?
Like weary warriors who have been tired beyond measure by getting into relationships ahead of time (just because we are fascinated with the concept of having a bf/gf), are we blunting the natural instincts given to us by nature to truly understand when someone is right for us?
How pitiful wouldn't it be if we keep searching for something for millions of moments and then finally when the moment comes, we refuse to believe in it coz we are too deluded by our own disbelief?
Have no fear is what I tell myself. Believe in the wonder called "life". My wrongs would surely be made right one day! What do you say folks?
There are so many instances of people I come accross who are involved with somebody in their lives but things dont seem to work. General confusion. And the million dollar question: "Is this person right for me?"
And so this latest muse: how does one know if a person is right for him or her?
Come to think of it, there was a time when the world was a very small place. One's exposure to people outside of one's family was restricted to a few relatives. If one was growing up in a village, how many women of marriagable able would be there if you were trying to get married. So maybe that is where community events came in: fairs and marriages which gave a man and a woman an opportunity to find someone they liked (ofcourse after filtering things like caste, religion, social standing etc.). And even then if there was no one, there was always the family pundit who would indulge in match making.
Point I am trying to make, was there that much thought going behind whether this person is right for me or not? Why not? Were these not humans like us who had their likes and dislikes?
Look at the other contrast. Today we grow up in co - ed schools, colleges (I did!), have co - ed work places, large cities where we live with all means of coming together of men and women (not to speak of the omnipresent and all pervasive internet) and yet there is confusion?
Is the confusion because we are applying our intellect to something which is essentially not in our hands? Is marriage just the coming together of two people or does it have something more to it? Why does the heart come into the picture and if it does, then how does one reconcile with the pulls of the heart and the mind? And finally, is there some spirituality involved in marriage that we are unable to understand?
Like weary warriors who have been tired beyond measure by getting into relationships ahead of time (just because we are fascinated with the concept of having a bf/gf), are we blunting the natural instincts given to us by nature to truly understand when someone is right for us?
How pitiful wouldn't it be if we keep searching for something for millions of moments and then finally when the moment comes, we refuse to believe in it coz we are too deluded by our own disbelief?
Have no fear is what I tell myself. Believe in the wonder called "life". My wrongs would surely be made right one day! What do you say folks?
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