Trust

As per the Merriam Webster’s Dictionary, the word Trust has the following meanings:
noun: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something
verb: to place confidence in, rely on, to hope or expect confidently .

While creating a presentation on Trusts for my PWM clients today, I started doing some random search on the word trust. Think about it, trust is such an important aspect of our life. Every human relationship is based on trust. Only if I trust someone do I open up to that person, share things with that person...in short allow him a glimpse of my inner life. For unless we do that, how much can another person really know us? As humans, communicating what we really feel inside is so difficult. And then start all misunderstandings, hurts and a whole cycle because we assume the other person knows what we are feeling deep inside whereas that person maybe thinking something completely else based on his or her past experiences.

So what's the defence mechanism we all use? Shut the shop of trust in our heart very tightly and pull it open slowly only when we are convinced that yes this person will understand me and not betray my trust. Thus invariably, other people's inability to comprehend us becomes the reason to estrange us from others.

One interesting thing I found on Wikipedia was:

In psychology, Trust begins just from the birth of the child. Trust grows stronger as the child grows older. But the root of trust comes from the relationship between the mother or caregiver of the child [ Oxford Dictionary Of Psychology( Basic Trust) ]. The strength in the family relies on the trust. If the family is very accepting and loving, the children will have a better grip on trusting others. If a child did not have a strong family to fall back on, they might have issues developing trust between friends and other family members. Trust is a very sacred thing and is hard to regain trust once lost.Many children are given blankets or teddy bears at birth that they end up keeping for most of their lives, or just their baby stage. The teddy bear or blanket is something that has been there for their whole life as the child knows it. Having either a teddy bear or blanket or even something that has been there for their whole life creates good trust.

So the person we trust the most is our mother. My mom has always told me that one movement on my face and she can sense what I am feeling. I wonder why. Maybe it is the great love and care a mom has for her child that gives her this ability to truly understand her child. To top that, she sees her child from conception to adulthood. So can we increase trust in our own lives with other people? Moot point?

As an aside - here is an interesting song from Billy Joel -

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The Stranger

Well we all have a face

That we hide away forever

And we take them out and Show ourselves

When everyone has gone

Some are satin some are steel

Some are silk and some are leather

They're the faces of the stranger

But we love to try them on

Well we all fall in love

But we disregard the danger

Though we share so many secrets

There are some we never tell

Why were you so surprised

That you never saw the stranger

Did you ever let your lover see

The stranger in yourself?

Don't be afraid to try again

Everyone goes south

Every now and then You've done it, why can't Someone else?

You should know by now You've been there yourself

Once I used to believe I was such a great romancer

Then I came home to a woman

That I could not recognize

When I pressed her for a reason

She refused to even answer

It was then I felt the stranger

Kick me right between the eyes

Well we all fall in love

But we disregard the danger

Though we share so many secrets

There are some we never tell

Why were you so surprised

That you never saw the stranger

Did you ever let your lover see The stranger in yourself?

Don't be afraid to try again

Everyone goes south

Every now and then

You've done it why can't Someone else?

You should know by now You've been there yourself

You may never understand

How the stranger is inspired

But he isn't always evil

And he is not always wrong

Though you drown in good intentions

You will never quench the fire

You'll give in to your desire

When the stranger comes along.

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Trust Billy Joel to always write a hard hitting and realistic song!

So the final question....can we as humans trust ourselves? And if we can't, is that an option?